Sometimes Trial Separations Become Permanent
Author: +Freddie Cook
There are lots of ways to go about repairing a relationship and the choice of method depends largely on what the problems are. Sometimes a trial separation is used as a relationship fix when the couple think that some time apart may be beneficial.
But, it’s not always a joint decision.
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There are times when the choice to try a trial separation is taken by just one of the couple.
Getting your ex back can be a difficult task at the best of times, but even after a separation, rather than after a breakup, it can still be difficult to achieve. Occasionally, one or the other of the couple decides they prefer being apart.
So, trial separations don’t always go the way we’d like them to and end up causing more problems instead of solving them.
That makes getting back together again even more difficult, which isn’t that surprising.
Why A Trial Seperation
The whole point of a separation is to give each other some time and space to work through your own problems without the distractions of your partner, to let things cool down and to discover exactly what you really feel for each other, to see how much you miss each other.
In other words it’s a trial period apart.
The problem with a trial separation is that it’s often seen as permanent from the outset, from at least one of the partners.
They see it as a gentler way of actually splitting up, like doing it in stages hoping their partner will come to like the idea in the process.
This is a shame, because relationships can benefit greatly when the couple as a whole work on their relationship. A separation, if done correctly, can make the couple even closer and their relationship stronger.
But, only if the intentions of both of them are to fix their problems and mistakes so they don’t crop up again in the future.
What About An Actual Breakup?
Strangely enough, that’s also how to rescue a relationship after a breakup.
The first step is to treat the time apart like a trial separation and during this time apart, identify and fix any problems and mistakes before approaching your ex again.
And, like a separation, this can be a very rewarding experience for both partners.
The key is having enough time apart to succeed. Initially, while feelings are still running high, this is crucial.
Until all their emotions have settled down they won’t be able to work on anything to do with their partner or spouse, they won’t have time or space to miss them because so many other conflicting emotions will just get in the way.
Anger and resentment mixed with frustration are very common. Add to that fear, rejection and loneliness, possibly even helplessness, and there’s little chance of any constructive healing going to happen.
So if you’re looking for a relationship fix to get your ex back, then try some time apart with no contact whatsoever, until you’re both in a calm frame of mind and your feelings are well under control.
If you can say to your ex, “I forgive you!” and mean it sincerely without adding in a “but,” then you’re likely ready to start working on your relationship problems and a trial separation may help you to accomplish this.
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