Sneaky? Or Just Clever Relationship Psychology?
Author: +Freddie Cook
To get your ex back you may have to learn to be sneaky. Let’s face it, getting back together with you may be the last thing on their mind, but as it’s the only thing on your mind, you will have to learn to be less conventional in the way you approach and interact with your ex so they don’t realize what you are really up to.
Finding ways to get breakups fixed, and your ex back, is something that many people try to do who weren’t ready for their relationship or marriage to end. Any divorce or breakup usually has one person that is still wanting to get their relationship back to the way it was.
Your ex may already be aware that you’re simply not yet ready to move on and a relationship reconciliation is your top priority.
So what next?
Well, you’re going to have to change their mind. If you want to reconnect with your ex, be sneaky and fix your relationship by making them believe that you are indeed ready to move on, you’ve accepted the breakup and, although initially it took you by surprise and you reacted badly to it, you’re no longer trying to get your ex back.
In fact, you now think that breaking up is the best thing for both of you.
How do you do that?
Simply get on with your life without them. Have fun, do all the enjoyable things you used to do.
Don’t put your life on hold just because of your ex, right now you will be much better off giving your ex the impression that they are no longer important to you.
So get out there, friends and family will be a great help here, but the main thing is to be happy and start enjoying life again.
Up to this point, you’ve no doubt been at loggerheads with your ex over their decision to dump you. Because of this, their whole attitude towards you has been a negative one.
Yes, you’ve been on their mind, but for all the wrong reasons. What do you think you’re ex will be thinking after your complete change of heart?
It certainly won’t be as negative as before and if you can keep from being anything less than happy and upbeat whenever you see or hear from them, then with a little bit of time, they’ll lose all their negativity towards you.
The main thing is to make sure they believe you so that your ex can trust you again and rely on you not to keep asking them to come back, or fighting and arguing with them.
If you can manage to do this, you will have succeeded in getting yourself on their mind for much better reasons and without any negativity towards you.
You will have them wondering about you and curiosity is among the strongest urges that we human beings possess. And when word gets back to them about you enjoying life and no longer bothered that your ex has gone, believe me, your ex is the one who’ll be bothered.
Don’t bring up the past and don’t tell them about your present life, like how much you’re enjoying it and how much fun you’re having without them.
It’s much more effective if this comes from sources other than you. You’re not trying to make them jealous, that would work against you, happy calm people are attractive people, it’s the attractive bit you’re after, not the jealousy bit.
Of course, it’s quite likely they will be jealous, especially if they see you moving on faster than they’re managing to, but that’s alright, they’re coming to that conclusion on their own, and not by you rubbing their nose in it.
Be nice to them, act like you want their life to be a happy one as well. This kind of attitude will help them realize that you are a stable, confident and happy person, exactly the type of person people are naturally drawn to.
Be patient. They may be on your mind a lot, but you don’t want to let them know that just yet. If they think that you’re thinking of them all the time, then it would be too obvious that you are only trying to rekindle your relationship and get your ex back.
Wait a couple of weeks and then call them up or send them a message asking how things are going, that is, if they haven’t already contacted you instead, which is quite likely.
Act and sound as much like an old friend as you can. Think about how old friends have tried to get back in touch with you and do something similar.
Try and let them do most of the talking, being a good listener at this point will serve you better. They will be more likely to be attracted to someone who values what they have to say, and that may be a huge difference from the way things may have been when you were together.
You may need them, but let them get to a point where they value having you because you are a good friend to them. You may find them needing you and trying to reverse your breakup.
Turning the tables and having your ex chasing you is the best way to get your ex back. So, reconnect with your ex, be sneaky and fix your relationship without begging and pleading. Do it the nice way instead and give yourself a real chance of success.