Buying into the emotional side of relationships
Author: +Freddie Cook
There are only a few reasons why your ex would try to make you jealous. I’ll talk you through them in this post, but you might find it useful to understand a little more about jealousy itself, that way you might be able to handle your situation in the best way… or even use it to your advantage.
Feelings, Jealousy and our Brain
Relationships are emotional connections between people. Whenever we are responding to our feelings we normally let go completely of our ability to use logic. They both rely on different parts of our brain to function and one will usually dominate the other.
For instance, sales people don’t use logic to sell to us, they try and make an emotional connection between us and whatever they are selling. If they manage it, logic disappears completely from our buying perspective. Buying something is, after all, an emotional experience.
This lack of logic can make our reactions in a relationship seem questionable. The things we see as obvious and completely understandable can lead others to being confused, they simply do not understand our reasoning. Emotional responses are usually hard to make any sense of.
Jealousy is an emotional response.
Jealousy is not logical, and for the most part, it isn’t reasonable either. It can rear it’s ugly head when we least expect it.
But that doesn’t mean that jealousy is completely unpredictable. Some people seem to be born with the ability to use it at will.
In that situation, it’s a form of manipulation.
Sometimes it’s used to try and breakup a relationship.
Sometimes it’s used to try and put a broken relationship back together.
Which brings us, not so subtly, to the purpose of this post… Why is my ex trying to make me jealous?
The Reasons An Ex Would Try And Make You Jealous
Breakups are not normally a cordial event, there is usually at least one from the partnership that is unhappy about it. Sometimes even the one who did the breaking up becomes unhappy as well because they realize they’ve made a big mistake and don’t know how to fix it.
Some try to make their ex jealous as a way to rescue their breakup and get their ex back again. Others try to make their ex jealous for entirely different reasons.
Do they want to ‘remain friends’ with you? Do you want to remain friends with them?
Just bear in mind that the idea — “We can be friends” — is largely a myth.
How would you feel if the person you are dating wanted to meet for drinks with an old flame? Or they were calling their ex to tell them about their day?
Your ex is an ex for a reason… it didn’t work out!
Forget being friends.
That doesn’t mean you have to ignore them completely, or be impolite when you bump into each other. But, being polite and neighborly doesn’t mean you have to be friends.
Now, why are they trying to make you jealous?
When an ex is trying to make you jealous, it’s often just to get a reaction out of you. They want to see if you still care or not.
If you are dating someone else, your ex may simply be upset by this, and trying to bolster their own ego by making you jealous.
They’re either trying to hurt you in order to feel better about themselves, or trying to let you see that you’re missing out on ‘something’ by not being with them anymore.
They’re trying to show you how desirable they are.
If they have a new relationship, then they are most likely trying to hurt you for some other reason. Perhaps it was you they blame for the breakup.
A more sinister reason could be that they’re trying some ‘control freaky’ stuff on you. Was your ex a controller? If so, they no longer have any influence over your life so they’re trying to affect you this way, an ego thing as much as a control thing.
But, just maybe, their intention is not to make you jealous at all, but simply trying to get your attention. They may really miss you and want you back. We know it’s not the best way of doing it, but does your ex?
Are you just being annoyed by their jealousy antics or are you actually feeling jealous?
If your ex is managing to make you jealous, then you’d want to ask yourself why?
Do you still have feelings for them?
If so, do you want to reverse your breakup and get back with them?
Or, in spite of your feelings, do you really just want to move on?
Ask yourself this — Why does it matter?
Everyone knows about the way partners act after a breakup, so you don’t need to worry about it as long as you haven’t done anything wrong.
So why does it bother you?
Why we get feelings of jealousy isn’t always obvious to us and why someone is trying to make us jealous, whether they succeed or not, can be equally obscure.
The point is, there is never any good reason for us to take any notice of this at all. Simply shrug your shoulders, walk away and get on with your life… Leave them looking, and feeling, very stupid.
I hope this has helped answer your question, “why does my ex try to make me jealous?” But don’t leave it there… you won’t get your ex back by waiting for them to make the decisions… simply plan to get your ex boyfriend back… or get your ex girlfriend back those posts explain how… and take control yourself…